Happy New Year

I'm not much for making resolutions.  I haven't really for several years.  The ones I made in the past were extreme and apparently somewhat unrealistic and only let up to disappointment.  The last one I made (probably about 4 or 5 years ago) was the best and I still practice. 

So..........If I was to make one.............. it would be " to continue on the path I'm on".

In 2011 a giant step was made into making changes in my life.

In 2012....many MANY wonderful things happened.  I lost weight, become more health conscious, took more risks, became more active and more involved with fitness.  I started to take care of me which made me happier.  It's true what they say a happy mom makes a happy home!

Though I am currently STILL sick and battling a huge mental and physical slump, I sit here and can acknowledge that I have come a long way.  I put a little collage together.  I hope you like.

I'm not upset that I still have a ways to go, but it's something I can look forward too.  I can only get healthier and stronger right?!

It will be 2013 in a few hours and though I won't be working out anytime soon, there are 365 days in a year.  I will make 2013 a year to learn and grow more, a year to try new things, a year to focus on those that are important me and me to them.  Life is short but damn it is good!

For this coming year...may all your dreams come dreams, your goals be met, or resolutions be kept.

Happy New Year!

Cindy

Ending 2012

So I have been sick for a week now.  Just over a week.  Last week at this time I wasn't feeling to hot but decided that a workout would be a good idea.  Looking back I was probably too sick to do.  Sitting here now thinking.....I can't even fathom putting on clothes and heading to the gym. 

I haven't worked out since then.  Due to being sick and the holidays.  I have also lost my motivation to workout...possibly due to lack of energy.  Though not sure.

I also haven't really eaten.  Some soup and tea.  Lots of liquid medication and water.  HOWEVER....this is OK (though not really healthy).  No cookies, cakes, fatty foods, or alcohol.  No coffee!!  Kinda my own little detox.  Minus the whole medication overload!  I ate yesterday....I was NOT ready to eat yet.  I will spare you the details.

This obviously wasn't supposed to happen, but it has.  

My Christmas was very FITmas like.  Some fitness related items I received were Turbo Fire DVD collection, a smoothie maker, and two recipe books.  One on smoothies and one on salads.  Sadly, they are all in a corner of my living room collecting dust at the moment :(

The new year is coming and though I really don't resolutions anymore, I did want to set some goals for 2013.  Though, I can't think of one right now.  Maybe it should be to find a way to get back on track.  I am still hoping for better eating in 2013.  Being sick is a great way to start.  It will make be careful how I introduce foods back into my system and what type of foods. 

I'm sure I will get back into the swing to things - at least I hope.  Just not really in a rush.  I'm really hoping that getting this out and putting out will help me and any others that are feeling unmotivated.

I am feeling better.  The fever is gone.  The body aches and pains are gone.  I have a little more energy and can do things around the house and drive.  I will be out and about for a little bit today.  Hopefully I don't hurt the progress. 

I know that this isn't happy, cheerful, motivational....but it's real.  I said I would be real. 

Hope everyone is doing well, eating well, and feeling well.

A change is coming

I have never been the type of person that can easily relax or take it easy.  I have always kept myself busy with family and friends when younger.  Added work and children to that mix once older.  Now I have added fitness on top of that.  That's just who I am and it's always been my nature. 

For the past 2 + years I have been working towards a goal.  So that's occupied my mind on top of all the other responsibilities I have.  It's kept me busy.  Health and fitness has definitely motivated me and kept me going.  Did I lose another pound?  How many calories did I burn?  It's something that I looked forward to every single time I got on the scale and every single time I was at the gym.

I reached my goal.  So now what?  Maintain?  BORING! 

Honestly, I'm having a hard time with that.  I'm not saying I'm where I want to be...not at all.  I'm just saying that I had a goal to reach, I met it, now I need something else.  But what I don't know.  This is where I am now.  It's really weighing on me

I've thought about:
- getting a personal trainer
- meeting with a nutritionist
- picking up a sport

I would still like to drop one size and build more muscle.  I seem to work off goals.  I even work off of  'to do' lists daily.  The feeling of 'checking' something off keeps me motivated! 

So now I just have to figure out how?  Can't really add more and I like what I do so I don't want to drop.  Maybe it's my eating.  I'm thinking that's where the change needs to happen.  I know what's bad for you and what's good for you.  I don't understand the science of eating.  What's good when?  How much of what to have?  That's the tough part.  I tried weight watchers and counting calories.  These did not work for me when I tried.  Will it work for me now?  I don't know.  I can tell you that I'm not letting all my hard work go down the drain. 

Time for some research....

Old dog...new tricks?

Hmmm...can you teach an old dog new tricks?

The past two weeks have been out of the norm.  Last week was a holiday week so my gym had an irregular schedule.  I missed several classes.  This week there was an unsuspected closing due to water damage in which I also missed several classes.  Not going to lie....it's been rough physically and mentally!  I was able to handle it better last week because I was able to plan ahead and mentally prepare myself for a few days off.  This week, since it was unexpected...was not easy.  After missing class # 2 (I missed 5 total) I was feeling hugely fat, ugly, and weak.  Honestly Cindy.  Get a grip!  I will let you in on something that I did that I didn't want to do.  I weighed myself this morning.  I got on the scale and closed my eyes tight.  I finally opened them and looked down.....nothing.  I was on the scale so long that the #'s disappeared.  I got off and got on again....just look Cindy!  LOOK!  I did....no change :)  Phew! 

A good friend of mine told me something very powerful.  She said, " you're not going to gain 100 pounds over night."  Smart huh?! 

I never would have thought at almost 36 years of age I would be affected this much by exercise.  This is how I know this is NOT a phase it IS a lifestyle.

Soooo I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.

I do need to work on motivating myself to work out at home when I have off days, whether scheduled or not.  I will admit that's a huge struggle for me.  I tend to want to do...then lose the motivation.  I will definitely start working on this.  Doesn't have to be much, does it?  Some squats, crunches, planks and the like.  This will take time but so did getting to where I am.

Glad I will be back on my regular gym schedule tomorrow.  I'm sure my family and coworkers appreciate it just as much (or more) than I do.  :)

Thank You

I'm sitting here reflecting on the day, the week, the year.  There have been some tough days but boy have there been some great ones.  I learn from the bad and enjoy the great.  At almost 36 years of age, I think I'm finally starting to get life.  What works and what doesn't.  Not to stress the small things and focus on the truly important things.  I'm thankful for so much:  some but not all as follows

• my amazing, smart, healthy and handsome boys Sam and Nate, they keep me going and make me so proud. 
•  my husband for being a great provider, father, and supportive friend 
•   my true friends, for understanding and supporting (and putting up with me).  This includes you gym wife! 
• my new friends, for taking a chance in getting to know me
• all of my family, chosen and not chosen
• roof over my head and my wonderful and coworker
• my health and my strength
• for finding and allowing fitness back in my life and the people I have met and share a fitness interest with
• unlimited data plans with unlimited texting
• exceeding my weight loss goal
• all true heroes- medical heroes, veteran heroes, active military, teachers.  Those are able to and help the needy and those less privileged. 
• my awesome Keeping Fit and Curvy followers
• those of you that take the time to read my blog along with your supportive and positive comments
• holidays like this where I can sit and take some time and think how wonderful life is 

May you all have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving.  May the day be filled and laughter, warmth, family, friends, and great food. 

Thank you!

Choices

After being, living and thinking a certain way for so many years it was nice finally becoming brave enough to make life saving changes.  However, old habits die hard. I know I have said that before.  This time, it doesn't have to do with food or working out, it's more personal than that.

Always being the heavy girl in the classroom at school, or the living room during a family reunion, or the heavy mom at your kids school function it all takes a toll on your confidence.  It's funny, you would think that once you lose the weight your confidence shoots way up!  Sadly, it's not the case, at least not for me.  It's something that I'm working on for sure...but damn it's hard sometimes.  Real hard!

I've been told that I don't see what others see.  That may be true.  Actually, who I am kidding that's completely true!

We all have good days and bad days.  When I have bad day I instantly want to go back to the old me.  It's what I know.  It's easy for me.  But, I don't want to do go back to the old me.  I would be letting loved ones and myself down.  I've worked very hard to get to were I am.  I think it would be a shame to bring back the old me, though it would be easy but I would be hurting and punishing myself.

When I'm feeling sad or down, feeling deflated or beat, feeling alone or lost I have to train myself to STOP and THINK.  Make a good choice.  Make the BEST choice Cindy. 


It's something that I notice and I'm aware that I need to work on.  I know it.  I can do it.  I will do it.   Slowly but surely.

Why and What

I love to sweat!  I really, really do.  I love to work out.  I love to push myself and be pushed.  I love to see and feel progress.  Does that make me a "fitness freak"?  Yes? No? Maybe so?  However you see it....one thing I know for sure....is that it makes me HAPPY!  I do lots of different formats that I don't see myself getting bored.  There are different reasons why I like the different formats that I do!

~~~~~~~~~~Here's the breakdown~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zumba - Music and dancing is just something that I have loved all my life.  Make that into an hour long, cardio workout and you've got me hooked.  It's how I started.  I'm thankful for this class.  Always will be.

Zumba Toning - see above.  With added bonus...WEIGHTS

Spin - Amazing work out.  The music, the atmosphere, the sweat dripping and forming the huge puddles on the floor (cool but gross).  The fact that you have to push and push and push yourself.  Trust your legs to push through every time you add resistance and that feeling when you take some resistance off!

Kickboxing - You just feel so bad ass kicking and punching.  No way you wouldn't!  This workout is so intense that some nights, afterwards, I just sit there and think....'what the hell just happened!!!!'

TRX - The fact that I even take this class is enough.  This is one exercise that you will never EVER master.  No way.  You can always make it tougher.  To be honest, there are some days that it feels like that it's the first time taking it.  The first ever bicep curl, or chest press, or squat.  Then there are those days when you totally rock it.  Like this past Saturday when I was finally able to do a body saw for an entire minute!  Doesn't sound like a long time or hard?!  Try it!  Go ahead...TRY IT!

Boot Camp - Love it..once it's done :) It challenges you, it makes you sweat, if you have the right instructor you are pushed.  It's what I need, want, and love. 

Step -  It's fast, it's complicated, it makes me want to pull the hair out of my head.  It makes me  scream internally....BUT getting one thing down makes it worth it.  The jello feeling in your legs, makes it worth it.  The calories burned after the intense cardio...so worth it!

Maybe I am a Fitness Freak but I am happy, I am making progress, and I am proud! 

21 Day NO JUNK FOOD Challenge

So I'm joining a few others and started this challenge today.  I think it would be a good idea to write my thoughts down.

The only thing I thought I would find challenging would be ice cream.  I <3 ice cream!  I thought I don't eat often, so this can't be that tough, I thought.  OMG!!!!  I want chocolate and candy and cookies, and cake, and ICE CREAM!  The mind is sooo powerful and plays some mean games.  I know that so I WILL overcome it.  Let's see how I do throughout this challenge.

11-8 Day 1:
 I made it through the day.  It wasn't that bad...but knowing that I can't have something makes me want it.  Its not the end of the world but it's called a challenge for a reason.  I'm looking forward to the other 20 days.
11-9 Day 2:
Today was ok food wise.  The only that that was difficult was dinner.  The boys were looking forward to going out for pizza but I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to go out, let alone cook.  So we did order, but I ordered a salad on a wheat wrap.

11-10 Day 3:
No food issues today.  I didn't eat much due to some errands and some other things I had to do.  I do find myself thinking of what I'm eating before I eat it.  I was going to grab a few  blue corn chips, stopped, remember I couldn't have them and had half a Luna bar instead :)
11-11 Day 4:
Today was GREAT!  I made very healthy good choices today.  Breakfast was special K serial then had an early lunch, egg white omelet.  I had some wheat pita chips and hummus for a snack.  Hubby is making a meatloaf roast and salad.  Feeling strong today!

Some Days

There are days when it's hard....

• to eat breakfast when you're not hungry
• to not get that seasonal donut at the coffee shop
• to choose that yogurt or almonds instead of cheez its or chips
• to not reach for the snack basket in the afternoon before you start making dinner
• to make a salad for dinner...all that cutting of the vegetables
• to get out of your warm comfy bed to go to the gym
• to go back out to the gym after you've been home, made and eat dinner, and chatted with the family
• to not grab a cookie out of habit or just because

Changing your lifestyle and eating habits after 20+ years is not easy!  It's a battle.  Some days, even most days are easy now, some are not.  Those seldom tough days can beat you up bad.  Not going to lie.  You have to remember that  it's just a day.   Don't give in!  If you do....only means your normal and you will move on.  Don't give up!  If you do...only means your letting yourself down.  You don't want that.  I don't want that!

Even though I'm warm and comfortable now...I'm craving the feeling of a great workout.

I'm off to get ready for KickBox Bootcamp!

Let's go shopping

Food shopping gets more and more difficult. You want to eat right and feed your family healthy options but worry about paying the bills at the same time.  It's so unbelievable how expensive good food is.   So I decided to compare two food shopping lists to make sure I wasn't being overly dramatic. 

Take a look.......

 Meal  #1

Breakfast
- Cocoa Puffs and Milk
 Lunch
- Frozen Pizza
 Dinner
- Mac n Cheese
- chicken breast
 Dessert
- Cookies
Total spent $22.80

                                                    Meal #2 (healthier options)

Breakfast

- Oatmeal and banana

 Lunch

- Frozen organic pizza with spring mix salad, tomatoes, and cucumbers

Dinner

- Whole grain pasta, grilled chicken, and veggies

Dessert

- Fresh fruit sorbert

Total Spent $ 42.17

 

 I am not being overly dramatic!  Things should be switched.  Fruit should be $1.00 and Ho-Ho's should be $5.99. 

U is who U is

Do you pretend to run against the person next to you on the treadmill?  Do you compare yourself to the person next to you on the treadmill.  These are two different ways of thinking.  I'm not a competitive person by nature in the least but I have secretly 'raced' with the person next to me at the gym.  I'm also not going to lie...I have compared myself to others.  We do the same exercises, why are her arms nicer?  Why aren't I as thin as her?  Well....cause we are all different.  We gain differently and we lose differently.  Different people, different bodies.  It took my a LONG time to accept that I am who I am.  Sometimes it's still hard, but it's getting easier.  We should see how far we have come instead of how far we need/want to go.  When I have one of those days where I think "I'm never going to be have a flat belly"...I really need to think "you might not, but at least you can see your feet!"  Having a secret competition for motivation with the person next to you is healthy.  Physically comparing yourself to someone else is not!

I have been given this life and I took it and my body for granted for so many years.  I am now living, learning and making the best of it.  For me and for the people I love.  I want to be around for them.  I do what I do cause I want to and I feel that it's what's right for me.  I think we should all be like that.  We all have different wants and different goals.  My goals may not the same as yours and your goals may not be the same as mine and that's ok.  What works for me may not work for you and that is ok as well!  I'm constantly trying new fitness classes and formats to see what I like and what works for me.   I suggest that everyone does that.

I told myself once don't strive to be better, stronger, faster, thinner than the person next to you on the treadmill - be better, stronger, faster, thinner than the person you were.

Be you.  Stay you.  Love you.

Mirror Mirror

I was watching a show last night about a 600lb woman named Melissa and her weight loss journey.  Not sure if any of you have seen it or heard about this story.  Here is the link:  http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2012/01/31/womans-journey-to-a-stunning-500-pound-weight-loss/

She said something last night that is still on my mind, and I quote, “Everyday I look in the mirror I still see the 673 pound lady,”“I don’t recognize the body that I have, but the face is still mine.” 

Powerful statement!

I know what she means by that.  We tend to be our worst critic in life.  You don't like your hair, legs are too short, or your butt is too big.  There are days were we don't see what others see.  Do I know I lost weight?  Of course I do.  The numbers on the scales went down and I shop at a different section of the store.  Do I see it, honestly, not all the time.  I remember being at Old Navy a few months ago and grabbing a size 14 knowing I was a 12.  Why?  Well, cause in my head I'm still the heavier me.  For so many years I wanted to be a 14, my mind was stuck at the size.  Maybe it was self reassurance to make sure I wasn't a 14 anymore that I grabbed those jeans.  Who knows really.  I grabbed a size 12 and went on my way.  When I go shopping now...I FORCE myself to take size 10, the right size.  It's a battle that I have with myself.

This isn't all the time!  I also have those days when I look in the mirror and say...YOU DID IT!

I've been heavy and out of shape for most of my life.  I will get used to the new me.  Just a matter of time.  I can wait :)

 

It hit me!

Wow!  So it just hit me.  I lost over one hundred pounds!

I think back as to how I got to the point in which I needed to lose this much weight and it truly makes me sad.  All the wrong choices I made.  When I chose to eat McDonald's instead of a salad.  Or when I chose to stay home instead of go to the gym.  These were my choices.  I can't blame anyone.  Yes, I wasn't raised in the healthiest of households, but I was out and on my own before 18.  I knew better.  I could have tried harder.  

I think as to how I got here and lost over one hundred pounds and it truly makes my happy.  I did it.  I made the right choices.  I chose the salad over McDonald's.  I chose the gym over staying home.  These are my choices.  Later in life, but still made them and still got here.  To a healthier and happier me.  I know better.  I tried harder.

So what does this mean?  It means that I wanted something.  I worked for it.  I got it.  This is a very powerful feeling.  Yes I had help along the way by means of encouragement, support, and at times threats :).  For this I am forever grateful.  I also put in 100% and sometimes even more!

I look forward to new challenges each day.  I look forward to pushing myself more each day.  I look forward to pushing and motivating others each day. 

Loving life!

Wake up will power

Tonight I celebrated my oldest son Sam's birthday with my husband's side of the family.  Sam will be fourteen on Friday but my husband's aunt is visiting from Florida so we had a nice dinner, caught up, and she was able to share in part one of celebrating Sam.  Dinner was great.  It was lasagna but it was rolled so the portions were a lot smaller (just one noodle).  No meat, light sauce, very little cheese.  It was very yummy.  Of course we had cake, it was a birthday celebration.  I said I was not going to have cake.  I didn't want cake.  After everyone ate dinner, a huge strawberry cheesecake was placed on the table.  OH DEAR LORD!!!!  That's my most favorite dessert ever!  Sooo I had a very small piece of cake, and little frosting :)  It was ok.  I didn't want a bigger piece or a second piece.  Yahhoooo Go me!

But this got me thinking.....Holidays are right around the corner!  November and December are event filled months for me.  November - Sam's bday, my anniversary, Thanksgiving.  December - my birthday, two more bday parties, Christmas and New Years.  Oh, and holiday parties.  A little bit of anxiety is creeping in.

So much food around.  So many sweets around.  What does this mean?  My will power skills must be awakened.  I must and will be ready and prepped.  No skipping on workouts.  Plan accordingly; carry healthy snacks, always have water, eat light day before/day of/day after event.  Hit the veggie tray not the chips and dip tray! 

I want to be fit and curvy.  I can be fit and curvy.  I WILL BE FIT AND CURVY!

No excuses

I was asked "Would you rather workout in the morning or at night?  How do you get up early or go after a long day?"  Thought I would share my thoughts with everyone.

I rather workout in the morning AND at night!

I like working out in the morning.  It's done.  I feel good.  I'm ready to start my day

I like working out at night.  It's something to look forward too.  I feel good.  I'm ending my day satisfied.

When I started, it was mostly mornings.  It was WORK to get up.  More mental than physical at that point.  If you really want to do, you will do it.  There are some things that you can do to help:

•  Leave everything out the night before.  Place everything in the corner.  Everything!  From socks and sneakers to sports bra.
• Set your alarm.  I place my alarm away from me so I have to get out of bed to shut it off.  Don't hit snooze!  If you are the type to hit snooze, set your alarm at least 10 mins earlier.
• Just get up!  Just do it!  You hear the alarm, the clothes are out and waiting.  Just GO!  Don't go back to bed.  
• Don't say 'I'll just go tonight'.  You will regret it....

Afternoon or nighttime can also be tricky.  You can have a crazy day at work or with the kids, an argument with a friend, even worn out from the long day.  So what can you do:

• Don't let a bad day take away from doing something that's good for you and makes you feel good.  
• If you go home to cook or help kids with homework etc, do it.  BUT...don't sit and watch tv.  BAD BAD BAD
• Do what you need to do and get to sweating.  You will feel better.
• Don't say 'I'll just go in the morning'.  You will regret it....

Tonight is my usual night off from the gym.  I was sitting down earlier thinking "feels like I should be at the gym".  No joke.  You actually just get used to it.  You make this part of your life.  You have to be good to yourself.  YOU deserve it!

I posted this earlier and my Facebook page and it compliments this topic

Insult vs. Compliment

 "Wow Cindy you lost a lot of weight, are you taking diet pills?"  I have been asked this so many times.  Sometimes I feel like it's a compliment.  Other times I feel it's an insult.  Why do some people go there?  Why do they go down the diet pill road?  Why not the working your ass off at the gym road!  I'm not going to get into diet pills and whether they are good or bad, if they work or not.  I don't use and I don't want to use them.  It just amazes me that so many people instantly think that's how I lost weight.  There isn't a pill that can do for me what I am doing for myself.  I'm working hard for my results.  I have the sore muscles to prove to myself. No jitters, no unknown "natural" weight loss ingredient.  Just sweat, determination, and support.  Every pound I lost, I earned.  The weight has been coming off slowly...but it's staying off.  I want the credit!  I deserve the credit.

I have learned a lot about myself through this journey.  I have failed and I have succeeded.  I like working hard.  I like trying new things (sometimes over and over again until I get it).  I like the people I have met and the friendships formed.  I wouldn't change that. I remember saying to myself in the beginning 'be patient Cindy, this will take time' and it has.  Being patient has definitely helped.

I still have lots to learn and lots to try and I will do it.

You have to start somewhere

People ask me all the time what exercises I do and the look on their faces when I tell them is priceless!  I didn't START this journey working out 14-16 hours a week.  I started with 15 minutes on a treadmill...and I was dying.  I was building my stamina, testing the waters.  I had NO idea what I was doing.  It was very intimidating.  However, I needed to be there.  I wanted to be there.  So slowly....very slowly...I went longer on treadmill and I tried new machines, tried group exercise classes.  Until I found something I loved.  I stuck with what was right for me for a long time.  I was happy there.  I was still nervous of trying something new.  I was scared of leaving my comfort zone.  Why leave?  I was happy and I was losing weight. 

I formed a friendship with another member who was also taking the same Zumba classes as me.  I don't remember how it happened....but her and I decided on taking an outdoor boot camp session that was coming up.   Though I really can't recall who had the idea, pretty sure it was hers.  I will NEVER forget that class.  I went to the meet up location where the class was to be held.  There were "stations" set up.  To me they it looked like a torture chamber with scary tools.  The instructor started to explain what we were going to do.  As she was explaining and I was listening I was also thinking....No flipping way lady!  No way can I do this!  No way! 

So the first station was running up and stairs....ok fine!..I can do that.  The next station was squats.  Ugh...fine...I can do those too.  The third station was tricep dips off a railing...HA...hell no lady.  Nope...not me...I will break!  It felt like she read my thoughts and she came over and said I could 'modify' the exercise.  It was music to my ears!  Anyway after class I got to my car and balled my eyes out.  That was the hardest thing I had ever done.  I was in so much pain.  However, that was my breaking point.  I tried something new, something harder, I made it through, and damn straight I was going to back. 

Having formed a friendship and having someone suffer with me was a huge help.  I couldn't have done it with out her. The session ended and as much as her and I whined and complained we also signed up for more boot camp classes at another location.  Crazy! 

I am very thankful to you Sadie! 

The instructor was very understanding and was willing to help and take the time to show me proper form and modifications without making me feel like I was way out of my league.  She was also the instructor who taught my zumba classes.  It helped that I felt comfortable with her.  She has pushed me in so many ways, in so many classes.  She has taken me well out of my comfort zone but shown her full support.  If it wasn't for her....I would never have tried so many other formats or pushed myself so hard.  Having someone support you, believe in you, and push you, makes a world of difference! 

I am also very thankful to you Lori!

To make a long story short...
- start slow
- set realistic goals
- form friendships with those that are going where you want go
- surround yourself with positivity
- get support from friends, family, or online bloggers
- don't give up...just don't give up

Before                                          Now