Choices

After being, living and thinking a certain way for so many years it was nice finally becoming brave enough to make life saving changes.  However, old habits die hard. I know I have said that before.  This time, it doesn't have to do with food or working out, it's more personal than that.

Always being the heavy girl in the classroom at school, or the living room during a family reunion, or the heavy mom at your kids school function it all takes a toll on your confidence.  It's funny, you would think that once you lose the weight your confidence shoots way up!  Sadly, it's not the case, at least not for me.  It's something that I'm working on for sure...but damn it's hard sometimes.  Real hard!

I've been told that I don't see what others see.  That may be true.  Actually, who I am kidding that's completely true!

We all have good days and bad days.  When I have bad day I instantly want to go back to the old me.  It's what I know.  It's easy for me.  But, I don't want to do go back to the old me.  I would be letting loved ones and myself down.  I've worked very hard to get to were I am.  I think it would be a shame to bring back the old me, though it would be easy but I would be hurting and punishing myself.

When I'm feeling sad or down, feeling deflated or beat, feeling alone or lost I have to train myself to STOP and THINK.  Make a good choice.  Make the BEST choice Cindy. 


It's something that I notice and I'm aware that I need to work on.  I know it.  I can do it.  I will do it.   Slowly but surely.